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Good grief, I hate being ill 
I’d had a really nice week off. I went and visited friends & family up & down the country. And some where on my travels I picked up an unwelcome travel companion in the form of a virus. Strewth! I have felt really lousy. And to make matters worse I’m beginning to feel my age. I’m fairly certain that years ago this wouldn’t have slowed me down, let alone taken this long to start getting over it. It’s taking longer to bounce back as the years pass by. Grrr! So I’m cooped up at home, dossed out of my skull on painkillers. Had a real scare yesterday. Chatting away on the phone to one of my friends, attempting to multitask so that I could prep up a loaf of bread. And then found that a section of my vision was missing. Not a black spot, or anything like that. Just literally a space in my field of vision that I couldn’t see in to. Looking in the mirror I could see my eye on the right if I stared at my nose, but wouldn’t be able to see my left eye. Very freaky. Thankfully my sight went back to normal about an hour later. I really hate being ill. I do it with very bad grace.
Meanwhile, Firefall continues to be awesome. Even in it’s beta state It’s doing well. I still stand by my original statement that the core of the game is solid. The only bugs I’ve encountered are very minor. Scenery not lining up properly, graphical holes, and things like that. Everything else seems to be working as intended. And the boys & girls at Red5 must be getting confident as they have handed out a couple of invites to the current bout of testers. So potentially trebling the current population. Really looking forward to seeing how this game evolves into it’s finished product for release. And then it’s inevitable evolution.
Be very afraid!
Now this might be begging for trouble.
 Today is Friday the 13th.
But what is the big deal? This year I decided that I was going to try and give up superstition. After all what do magpie’s know about what is going to happen in the future. Or how does staring up into the sky and uttering a desire to a humungous hydrogen reactor actually make it manifest? Walk along a path, no worries. Put a ladder there and it’s bad Karma. But take away the ladder and spell is broken? Broken mirrors? Accidents happen for crying out loud. And then the weirdness concerning black cats. UK side of the Atlantic, good luck. USA side, bad luck. WTF!? So today is the 13th day of the month. And it’s a Friday. And?
On very loose grounds of science I purchased a lotto ticket. I’m yet to win anything on the Premium Bonds I brought 7 years ago. So I know my luck is purely chance. Yet it’s fascinating that the default state for the human condition is that of hope. Of optometrist thinking. Although it’s been a long week, and not a particularly good one. And next week is really going to suck balls deluxe. So that will be a test of positive thinking. Strewth I’ve had a grump on some nights this week. Take that program on Sky at the moment, Touch. All kinds of good. I think it’s the guy who was involved with Heroes. But that sodding kid. GRRR! I thought Newt from Aliens 2 was annoying. But that mute brat from Touch has just taken the award for character that is most likely going to make you arise from your chair like a vengeful dime-God and punch the TV. And breath and relax. At least I’ve got a weekend off to relax and unwind before next week arrives to continue the process of dissolving my soul.
Good luck everybody.
It’s really nice to find something that I can write about that won’t land me in trouble 
So I’m one of the lucky ones, I got a beta invite for Firefall. For those of you wondering “what the hell is Firefall?” go give it a quick Google. Go on, this will still be here when you get back.
  
So now that the NDA has been lifted, it’s possible to talk about it in an open environment. In short, even in it’s beta state it solid. And deceptively enthralling. If you want your FPS death-match team games, then they got you covered. If you want an open world MMO style game, again you’ve come to the right place. The game seems to have something for everyone. If you want to go it alone and explore, then the world is big to start with. If you like the whole gather mats and craft stuff, then your gonna have a lot to keep you occupied. And if you want to group together with friends, then also not a problem. And the future holds Clans / armies, so big group fun is heading our way. And then there’s the price. It’s free.
Now I’m a skeptic at the best of times when I hear the word “free”. In the materialistic world “free” doesn’t tend to happen. Something for nothing is the work of fiction surly? But this is a free to play game. So where’s the money? Time will tell. But I would love to have my skepticism proved wrong.
All I need now are some invites so that I can send them out and get more people playing this awesome game.
Thank you Red 5 Studios
So a nice straight forward peaceful day. Work had been straightforward enough. Go somewhere, fix a wire. Go some place else, play musical chairs with the kit. Drop off old stuff. Pick up new stuff. Go another place and sort out things there. I know that horrifically simplified, but I can’t think of a way to make field service exciting with out getting into trouble.
So the working day ends and I get to indulge in my little geeky guilty pleasure of Star Wars: The Old Republic. Feeling the lure of the Dark Side, I roll up a Sith Inquisitor. Not long into the character generation process, an ear splitting siren sounds. It’s my carbon monoxide alarm. Well it’s good to know that the thing works. But it is the kind of thing you hope to never properly test. So what was the advise on that leaflet that I got with the detector again? That’s right, don’t die. Well that’s a good & solid plan that I can respect. So on the bright side at least the outside temperature is in positive figures. But this does now mean that I will have to face me fear of spiders and moths. Well tough luck irrational phobias, because I’m opening the windows.
By the power of Google, a free phone number for British gas is found. This did put me through to a lady with an incredibly quiet voice. Not particularly helpful when you stood next to an open window with a main road near by. But never mind. The conversation progressed with a higher than recommended RDA of “Pardon?”. The end result being that there would be an engineer out in less than an hour. Think that’s fast? Try 20 minuets. Awesome!
A very nice fella turned up. He was even wearing a personal carbon monoxide detector. And it was going off. So dangerous levels of carbon monoxide outside stood in a breeze? This can’t be good. Also a noticeable smell of gas. In the back of my mind I’m telling myself to keep calm and not to panic. So I’m trying to give off an air of there being nothing that serious. And this is where the engineer tells you that this is very serious. The kind of serious where people will wonder why they haven’t seen you and your not answering your phone in a terminally sleepy kind of way. That’s kind of a brown trouser moment.
Anyway, the guy checks everything out and my kit gets the all clear. YAY! I can turn the central heating back on. Turns out the fault is with the neighbor’s gas boiler. So the engineer toddles off round there to make the appliance safe, and then just got to wait for the air to clear a bit. So a cup of coffee and a chat are in order. I have a pleasant chat with the guy. And eventually the meter he’s wearing registers that the air in my home is now safe. So I get to finally close the windows, while eying up the various moths and other winged nasties that have invaded my home.
But it’s those throw away comments that tend to stick in your mind. The engineer was telling me about the conversation he had just previously had with my neighbors. He had knocked on the door and introduced himself and explained that their gas boiler was being a bit of a hazard. They’re nice couple next door. Studying to become nurses. But anyway, he was telling the lass that he would need to take a look at the boiler. Because death is a bad thing. At about that moment the fella commented on that he had smelt a strong gas smell most mornings at around 5:00am as he was going to work. The engineer couldn’t quite believe that someone would be that dismissive about gas.
Got a gas appliance?
Got a carbon monoxide detector?
The life you save my be your own.
I’m not sure, but I think it’s safe to say that a lady owns this car…
But that set aside, you’ve got to wonder about Tinkerbell. It has always seemed that she has had a naughty streak. But I think she’s been hanging around with the lost boys too much. It would appear that she has picked up a tattoo and has started going commando.
Ever felt like nailing shut the letterbox? Does it seem like a never ending line of crap is being pushed on to your carpet? As if suddenly your going to take complete leave of your senses and spend the little money you don’t have on products and services you don’t need?
Do you wish there was a way to stop this?
Well unlucky! Bar siting outside your door guarding your letterbox, suitably armed with an obvious deterrent 24 hours a day, then there is always going to be some numpty that will be brainlessly filling letterboxes with the pointless crap some prick has decided to peddle. And even the postman is in on it as well. It’s enough to boil your blood.
But wait!
They say time is money. So why not cost these faceless, soulless, odious individuals a bit of both?
You will need:
Some DL envelopes (Other sizes are available)
A pen
An internet – (occasionally)
And some time…
It’s a simple method.
Brainless drone pushes the leaflet through your door. If your lucky, then the hopeful business will have put their postal address on the leaflet. Simply copy the address on to a DL sized envelope. Pop the leaflet inside. And now the important bit…
DO NOT PUT A STAMP ON THE ENVELOPE. And then put it back in the post.
You can now smile at the fact that in a couple of days time, the business that felt that they could litter your home will be receiving a card from the postman. The card will tell them that they have mail waiting for them at the sorting office, and that it has inadequate payment on it. So all they have to do is come along to the sorting office, pay up and they can have their mail. Simple as that. I like to imagine that curiosity gets the better of these people. And it would be nice to see the various emotions that pass across their faces as they come to realize that they have wasted time and money just to get back their own crap. And if they don’t, well considering that the postman is now delivering unsolicited junk to my home, they can store it at the Post Office.
And the nice thing is that this works on other bits of unwanted detritus that comes through the letter box. You must get the letters addressed “To The Home Owner”, or “To The Car Owner” or even “The Occupier”? Simply cross out the name and write “Not known at this address – Please return to sender”, and then put in back in the post.
What about the other rubbish? Like the same business card from the same taxi service that has paid some prat to push one of their cards through your letterbox without fail once a month for the last few years? That’s where the internet comes in handy. Simply look them up in a search engine of your choosing, get the postal address and you know the rest. Envelope. No stamp. Postbox.
Charity bags. Yep, works for them as well. But I would advise putting the bags beyond use. So shred bag. Put in envelope. Put in postbox.
And if you can’t find an address for the buggers? Well simply send it off to one that you’ve got an address for. I mean come on. It’s not like there is going to be a single day pass by where some unwanted crap will land on your carpet?
Yes this takes time. Yes it’s quicker to put this shit straight in to the bin (or recycling bin). But why comply?
And in the interests of keeping things balanced, you could always try going to this WEB site
http://www.junkbuster.org.uk/
Hello boys & girls.
Blimey, I’ve not written anything since the beginning of February. But there has been so much exciting stuff! Well not really. Work is work and life is life. But that’s a massive generalization. More than likely is that truth of that I am very out of practice when it comes to writing. So rather than bore you all to death with what the last few months have held, lets take a little peak at the recent past.
Oh, while I remember. If you’ve been sent here by my boss, it’s not as exciting as what you may think it is in your mind. It’s just me rambling on. Like I do when you have to give me call. Hello by the way
So where was I? Oh yes, pontificating.
Right, so lets skip getting my ankle hurt by a swinging traffic cone. Gloss hurriedly over the steel lined door to the face incident. Lets definitely leave the out the after effects of Bernard Mathew’s chicken. And smoothly come up to speed with last weekend.
So, one of my close friend’s Mum was going to be celebrating her birthday. And because I’m a good boy, I will not disclose the lady’s age. Anyway, a surprise party was being arranged. So some holiday was booked off and plans were hatched. And as is always the way of plans, hastily rearranged at the last moments. In my case, the early start on the Friday to go and spend some time with my friends and their children was put back as the only time I could go in and show the nurse my legs was in the afternoon. Poor nurse. On the bright side it’s apparently minor ligament damage and I was prescribed some anti-inflammatory tablets. It was also the most exciting pair of pants the nurse had ever seen (at least for that week). So after that was all done & dusted it was off to Dorset.
I got there as the sun was setting. And as so as not to give the game away, I parked the car up the road in the village. The reason for this level of skullduggery is because Mumsie lives just over the road from my friends house. And a big silver Astra estate would kind of raise suspicions. So with the car out of the was I walked to my friends house. Thankfully I wasn’t spotted. Which is a good trick considering I have the least stealthy hair color. Anyway, it was a nice evening of catching up, and the kids were sound asleep upstairs. Also, to have a fighting chance of keeping the imminent party a secret, neither of the children had been told that I would be arriving. So that was going to be a surprise for the morning.
It’s official. Young children get up way too early. For the curious of you, that will be 7:00am. So I quietly packed away the sleeping bag, got dressed and went and said hello. There is something very good for the soul being greeted with such sincerity from small children. So the hours of the day then flew by. The kid’s BBC web site has an astonishing amount of stuff on it. Mostly learning disguised as games. So there was the bug that taught language. So Mandarin came through because “the bug had a helmet”. I also later discovered that little girls are un-naturally attracted to the color pink. On the of the coloring in exercises, where the bugs tell you the Spanish or Chinese for the color, basically involved painting everything pink. Then declaring that you need to make the page blank again, so that they can then fill everything in pink again. OK.
So with time ticking on, there was also a couple of cakes to be decorated. So the kiddies were let loose and for some odd reason, I was helping as well. I know! Me a supervising adult in the close proximity of icing. And cake for that matter. Anyway, eventually the cakes were decorated purely on the children’s say so. This did result in there probably being a cake under the mountain of sprinkles. But an accidental shake & blow sorted things out. I tell you, the ninja like cunning required for parenthood is phenomenal.
Now time was short. Two kids to shower & dress. The baby to sort out. Secret phone calls to make. Two stressed adults to get washed & dressed. And then me. I had the easy job. Simply sneak out of the house with my overnight bag, the baby buggy and the two cakes. And then rendezvous with them all for the big surprise at the venue. Turned out not to be that simple. First up there was the challenge of finding a box to put the cakes in. Eventually the kid’s art draws were salvaged. Then there was the buggy. Well it came out of the back of their car out. Folding it out was simple enough. So with my bag over my shoulder, one boxed cake on the buggy seat, the other in my free hand. I attempted to get out of there without being seen by Mumsie. Some how managed it. Then there was the challenge of loading the car.
It’s at this point that I would strongly advise you never to attempt this kind of thing in front of the village green. There tends to be an audience.
So the bag & the cakes went in easy enough. But the buggy turned out to be a challenge. If I’d been better prepared, I’d have emptied the boot of my work kit. So the first challenge was figuring out how the hell top fold the buggy flat again. After lots of struggling and muffled swearing, I found two tiny release handles. Happy days. But it doesn’t quite fit. I’m aware that my actions are providing entertainment for my on lookers. I stop what I’m doing with the buggy half hanging out of the car. There is a gentle shaking of heads. Right, back to work. More twisting and swearing, the buggy is a bit further in, but the boot won’t close. I again look over. This gets a wobbling of the palms to indicate that it’s progressing. Close. But not quite there. Eventually I remember that the rear wheels come off. RESULT. I close the boot of the car and there is a round of applause. Isn’t that nice. So help might have been better.
It was probably the most careful drive I’ve ever undertaken into Dorchester. But thankfully I got the cargo there unscathed. I’d also taken so much time that the birthday girl had already arrived. Drat! With a complete absence of subtly & stealth the cakes were transported to the main table. A few moments later I met up with Mumsie to wish her happy birthday. It was then that she told me of her drive in to the party. Apparently they had only just set off when a little girl turned to her Grandmother and said “You don’t know that Uncle Jim is here do you?”. You’ve got to laff
So that was the weekend. Today, work found me something new. After tinkering with a till up in a petrol station in Blackwood, it was off to Newport to play with the wireless network of a certain budget chain of supermarkets. This involved a ladder. So in the interest of not sustaining any more injurys at work, there were two of us. As it turned out, the kit was hiding in the suspended ceiling. The other surprise was the proper sized loft ladder, 2 pigeon steps, steal gantry walk way and low beams. Not what I was expecting. Some what daunting as the roof space got lower and lower as you went further along the gantry. And as Sod’s law would have it, when you have a choice of two, it’s always the other one. Now the other AP did require a step ladder. Unfortunately the site’s ladder wasn’t quite tall enough. Thankfully Andy is over 6″ tall. So he could stand on the last step and then reach in for the AP. After a little bit of prodding & poking, it was found that it was plugged into the wrong socket. Happy days. So good to meat up and chat with another engineer. But as soon as the paper work was out of the way it was off to Cardiff to fix a cash draw in the city center. Just a soon as I found where the parts locker was. Strewth the docks are rough. Parts all sorted it was into the city. Where, after a short walk, I found nothing wrong. The joys on intermittent faults. Just in case a, a quick blast of WD40 was used. Can never be too sure.
So there you have it. The rambeling of the missing link between human & orangatang.
What’s that? You want a picture?
Well OK. Here’s a Toyota Yaris that I nearly didn’t see in a car park in Wantage.
Now you probably have a mental image of the driver. I’ll save you some time. Your wrong.
And yes, one of the Tinkerbell fairy’s has lost her cloths.
Tuesday was a fun day. Instead of going to various customer’s sites, I went here instead…
And there I met the call planners…
And the Technical Support fellas…
From a working standpoint it was nice to see how the work comes in to the desk, and how it’s processed, even before it gets to an engineer’s PDA. Being remote, the perception is that the PDA makes a noise and there’s your job. I had no idea how clunky and unintuitive the system is that the desk have to deal with. So it fills you in on the bigger picture of the whole process, and hopefully I’ll be able to adjust my working methods to try and make the process easier all round. It was certainly helpful for me, as at least I now know how my input is reflected in the system.
But from a social standpoint it was an excellent giggle. It’s always good to put faces to voices and emails. So with that in mind I made a last minuet detour for vital supplies, arrived at the office, submitted the office to a 10 mega watt grin through the security glass and they still let me in. And this was before they knew I came bearing sweeties. So a month late, but a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year greetings were issued to all. This in turn did get me awarded with an excellent mug of tea. And as every one knows, engineers are powered by tea. I also said “Hi!” to the lady that deals with all my paper work. She wasn’t too best pleased with me. But that’s understandable considering she just had to process all my holiday requests that had come in. Hopefully the box of chockys will soften the blow. [Note to self - don't forget the lady that pays your overtime, and sorts out your holidays]
So an excellent day. I even managed to get my sweaty little mits on a soldering iron. Just got to find a home for that in the tool box. That reminds me, I’d better buy some solder as well.
Today has been excellent.
Now I’m a lucky man. As part of my job, I get given a car to use. Over the years there has been a variety of cars and vans. But with the exception of hire cars, they have always been hand me downs. So it has always been a case of “Here’s the keys, try not to break it”. So typically I’ll spend a couple of weeks discovering the problems and creating a niggle list. Eventually I’ll get it repaired. In the last case I had a car that had passed it’s lease, so had to go to an independent non-mains dealer. I took it in with a snag list as long as my arm and didn’t see the car for over 4 weeks.
So this time I was genuinely excited, as I had been asked to pick the colour of my new company car. RESULT!
So today I had to await delivery of my new car.
Fresh off the line with only 102 miles on the clock I have an Astra sportage 1.7 diesel SE spec.
I seriously thought I it was a miss-type and it was going to be a bottom the range ES spec. But I was wrong.
That new car smell. Love it
For those of you wondering why your seeing double, the one of the left is the new company car. The one on the right was the hire car I had. An Astra 1.6 petrol bottom of the range job. I now have a lot more buttons to play with. A much nicer interior. And alloy wheels. Result!
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